5 Reasons Why We Home school and Conflicting Views

 

5 Reasons Why We Home school and Conflicting Views

Discloser: I realize homeschooling may not work for every family. 😊 We each come from different backgrounds and situations. My purpose is not to say, “You have your children in a regular school. Your way is wrong, my way is right.” This post is just observations I’ve seen with my own experience and friends. The purpose of this entry is to share thoughts and ideas for others who may be considering home school, and for some to get a glimpse into a day in the life of a home school family, if they’re curious at all.

I’ve been asked several times if I’m committing to home school all the way up until graduation. My answer? “I’m going to take it a year at a time and see how it goes.”

We’ve been blessed this day and age with many options such as Christian school, full-time home school, and a mix of both.

I’ve heard some people present conflicting views when they find out I am a home school mom.

“Oh. So mom never gets a break.” Or “Children who are home schooled are socially awkward.” Or “home schooled children are behind.” And something along the lines of, “you shouldn’t be wasting your time at home, you should be out doing a real career and making money.” A lot of their comments come from a lack of knowing what’s really going on behind the scenes, and their limited experience and perspective.

Reason #1- Tailored One-On-One Instruction

I taught in both public and Christian schools for several years. While I have many fond memories from those experiences, I know teachers can spend hours preparing lessons and it comes with many challenges. A teacher’s wish is to tailor the curriculum to students, which is not always an easy task. The fact that many classes are about 20 kids, can make it hard for a teacher to focus on those who are struggling, or gifted and talented, and find time to give one-on-one attention they need. There are many great programs in some schools designed to help those who are behind or gifted, but not all schools have this, or there is more help needed. For me, I remember having an aide at times that worked with kids that were struggling, but I felt they needed much more one-on-one time than was offered.

I’ve found that in homeschooling, my child receives that one-on-one without having to share time with other students. If my boy struggles with a concept, I’m able to slow down at his pace. If he picks up a concept quickly, I can move faster if needed. And if I want to take the lesson and incorporate P.E. or music last minute? I have that freedom. If my child is having a hard time focusing, I can tweak the lesson, where he is still learning the concept, but in a different way.  If he takes a special interest on a topic in social studies, I can design my own project based on what he’s interested in and run with it. My husband and I know our son best and what he responds to.

Reason #2-More Time with Kids

Our kids are only little for a short amount of time, and then they become adults and move out of the house. Homeschooling gives families more time together during those fun years and the joy of seeing milestones met. When they are in a classroom for 7 hours a day, some are only able to see their kids for a couple hours in the evenings, and even then, there’s extracurricular activities, dinner to cook, and other work to be done. For home schoolers, it’s wonderful to get a front row seat on their child’s education, and see firsthand the growth, passions, and interests that form.

Reason #3- Bible and Family Based Learning

For our family, we want Jesus to be the most important thing in our lives. Many schools are not permitted to focus on this. We want it to be the forefront of our kid’s education, and we love to be able to incorporate Christ into each subject.

Also, we’re able to tie what we study into our family’s history. In social studies, we’ve read books about different states and countries, and it’s been fun to be able to say things like, “Ukraine is the world’s leading producer of sunflower seeds. When I was a kid, we drove past miles of sunflower fields in western Kansas. Ukraine is known as the breadbasket of Europe, and Kansas was known as the breadbasket of the U.S.” Or “this state over here has lots of cattle. Your great grandfather was a rancher…”

Reason #4- Flexibility and Freedom

Home schooling is a huge commitment. There are days honestly where it can be hard balancing the demands of a household or working outside the home, marriage, as well as being fully in charge of your child’s education and social life. But if a parent is committed to doing it well, learning all they can about it, and reaching out when they need help, it can be done. Community is the key and not doing it alone. I’ve seen families who didn’t know how to teach a certain class once their child reached middle school, so they utilized resources around them and were able to make it work.

With homeschooling, we can pick when our holiday breaks are, and what time of day we do our lessons. When I’m planning out time to travel or days to take off, I consider how I still would like to take a break in the summer from the regular curriculum. We still have Christmas break, Spring break, etc, and it doesn’t always have to follow what other schools do. I’ve seen some families home school year-round as well, giving them longer breaks and a less rigid schedule.

Some home school at the same time each day, while others fit their lessons in at different times each day, such as right before dinner, first thing in the morning, catching up on the weekends, or during breakfast. Each family’s day is going to look different, and that’s okay. Personally, I like to try and keep a schedule of Monday-Thursday lessons in the afternoons.

Reason #5-Socialization and Friendships Including the Whole Family

One of the main arguments against homeschooling is that the kids aren’t getting enough socialization time. There are those families I’ve seen who have chosen to isolate themselves, but it really does depend on the parents. In my experience, the majority of home school families are busy during the week taking their kids to things like gymnastics, dance, music and art lessons, play dates with friends, church activities, sports, and park days. The parents must be intentional about activities and having their kids spend time with others, based on what works for them. Sometimes it takes stepping out of their comfort zone.

For us, I love the fact that not only do I know my child’s friends, but I know their parents too and sometimes the extended family. We know who our kids are hanging out with and their family’s values. Our kids hang out with children of various ages, and not just those who are in their grade. At one community homeschool park day we attended, there were kids of various ages- babies, toddlers, early and late elementary, high schoolers, parents, and grandparents. It was a lot of fun getting to know the families all together. The children still face conflicts and challenges with other kids, just like in a regular school, it’s just easier when a parent can be nearby and guide their child through it. Once a family finds those consistent friends, it makes all the difference for the homeschool experience. Having a tribe helps tremendously to encourage, offer advice, point each other to resources, and relate to one another.

So those comments about homeschoolers being behind or socially awkward? Yes, some can be. And no, some are not at all. But so can children that attend a traditional school. I’ve seen it on both sides. There are homeschoolers that are shy. There are homeschoolers that are very outgoing. There are children who attend regular school who are socially awkward and behind.  Or the flip side. At the end of the day, whether we choose home school or not, most have the same goal: to raise our kids as loving and kind people and guide them to be able to properly function in today’s world. Kids can get that from homeschool. Kids can get that from a traditional school. It really depends on the effort and intentionality of the parents and what they choose to focus on.  

What have you found works best for your family and why? Homeschool, traditional school, or a mix? Would love to hear your comments!

Survival Kit for Living in the Northwest

 

Oil pan heater? Check. Studded tires? Check. Muck boots for hiking in the deep snow? Check. Happy lamp? Check.

Do any of these items sound familiar to you? Twelve years ago, these things were absolutely foreign to me. But now, after living near the mountains, these treasures have become familiar and useful tools.

When I first moved to the northwest, I saw some strange things. Like, plugging in your car? Who ever heard of that? My husband had to explain how some people plug in a heater that goes around their oil pan, to help the car start on those cold winter days.

Or how about Muck boots? I’d never heard of such a thing. The Arctic Muck boots are some of the best boots a person can buy to trek through the snow. It was a good thing I received these as a gift the first year we moved, because I hiked a few miles home one day after it snowed. I was a teacher at a small country school and would be dropped off early every morning before my husband had to be at work. I hadn’t gotten the memo school was cancelled until I was already there a while doing lesson plans. So instead of calling one of the other teachers to pick me up and take me home, I decided to enjoy the fresh air and walk all the way across town to my house. It was actually a walk I quite enjoyed. Those boots are the best!

I also learned about studded tires. Boy, have these been a lifesaver! They grip the road better and have gotten us out of some predicaments. And I never understood 4-wheel drive until using it to get out of the driveway or through snow-packed ditches.

So, I’d say after living in the north for almost twelve years, I’ve learned a thing or two about the essentials.

Oh and happy lamps! I’ve heard others call them SAD lamps, but I’ve always called them happy lamps, so that’s what I’m stickin’ to. 😊  These are full-spectrum lamps, which are supposed to mimic the sun. For several months, the northern states don’t see much sun, and these lamps sure do help with those winter blues. That along with vitamin D and K. I think for me, the lamp gives me pep in my step just for the fact that it’s a bright light. And I like light. It reminds me of Jesus, the only light in a dark world.

So yes, in many ways adjusting to life in the Northwest had not been easy for me. But after over a decade of living in the north, it’s grown on me a little. The main reason are the people in my community. Many I have met are Bible-believing homeschool families. They are kind and caring, and I appreciate them more than words can express. I’m also grateful for the churches that open their gym doors to families with kids, providing them with a fun place and equipment to play with in a wide-open area, when it’s not easy to be outside in January and February.

I’d never thought I’d admit this, but I think in a way (after much kicking of the heels and screaming haha), the Northwest has gotten a small piece of my heart. There. I said it. Like when you’re first trying to start a fire, and you see some of its glow.

It’s the shine on the snow-capped mountains when the sun is setting, giving that deep purple color.  Or the quiet walks in the woods and watching the small woodland animals scamper around. It’s the forts built in the snow with my kids, the silly-shaped snowmen, and ice creations. But most of all, it’s friends. The people who have shared their love for Jesus with my family, the ones willing to share adventures with us and get to know us.  Friends who have been there during hard times, when we’ve been sick or feeling alone. It’s the little things. The soup made with love, the texts throughout the day just to talk about life, the invites to hang out. I’ve made several wonderful friends in this valley, and I am forever grateful.

So, okay, Montana. You win. Sort of. I kinda sorta like you. (Folds arms across chest).

Have you ever moved somewhere and at first you didn’t like it, and then it kinda sorta grew on you?

 

There's More Going On Behind the Scenes

 

There’s More Going on Behind the Scenes

(picture: standing on an outdoor stage with the hubby)

In my early 20s, I kept having these nagging thoughts. They bothered me to the core. I would fret about them, even late into the night.  I couldn’t understand why a good and all-knowing God would allow such horrible things to happen. Or more personally, why was he allowing bad things to happen to me and those I loved?

 I would look around at people that appeared to have a good life and grow jealous.  Those who had not been affected by poor choices. I started to believe all that was taught to me as a kid in Sunday school was a lie. There either was no God or if there was, he honestly didn’t care about me or the terrible things happening in the world. If he did, he would prevent them all from happening. 

              I would see my Bible sitting on the shelf, hardly touched. How many days had I told myself I would read it, to better understand God and his plan, and then I would get a chapter in, throw my hands up thinking: this is too hard to understand. The language and the culture is different. It’s a waste of my time. I have better things to do and so much to accomplish. Or some days when I tried to read more of my Bible, it was reading the same thing over again, and I never made the effort to dig deeper. Jesus died on the cross. Yada yada yada. Okay. So now what?

Others around me may have thought I had it all figured out, but I was struggling. Had I proclaimed to others I followed Jesus? Yes. And I had since I was a little girl. Honestly, I was scared of the doubts and questions I was having in that time of life. But the real question was: Had I REALLY been digging into what had been written for me in the Bible so many years ago? Had I really unpacked and fully understood God’s plan? Did I realize the life-changing treasure that was sitting right there on my shelf, most of the time untouched? Was I taking the time to study it, or just depending on others to tell me what it said, rushing through to check it off my to-do list?

To be honest, there were things that happened in my life where I felt abandoned. Like God had just left me there, not caring at all what happened. He allowed these bad things to happen to me, right? Why should I even carve out time for him in my busy day? I struggled with my faith for a while.

During those college years, I befriended another woman at the university who later I found out had rejected Jesus. “It’s cool you believe in those fairy tales,” she would say to me. But she hadn’t been willing to study or see for herself. She hadn’t opened the treasure easily accessible to her and see the truth.

I started digging deeper for myself. I brought my questions and doubts to God. My friend-had she ever heard and fully understood who Jesus was? Did she realize that choosing to follow Jesus would be the most important decision she could ever make in her life? A decision that would bring her hope instead of bitterness. Forgiveness and redemption. A purpose for her life and a new beginning. That Jesus was really all that mattered? Not chasing the sins this world has to offer, which only leaves us feeling empty, sad, lost, and lonely in the end.

              The truth is, sometimes I still have questions. But the difference is now, instead of giving up and pushing aside the Bible, I have chosen to dig deeper. I joined an in-depth bible study called Bible Study Fellowship, and discovered it’s a world-wide organization where others are studying the same thing. It unpacks very slowly each chapter of a given book in the Bible, gives background information referencing other books in the Bible, talks about the story of the author who wrote it, and so much more. The study first has you dig into the Bible yourself and answer deep questions. Next, you discuss it with a group leader and other peers, and last, listen to an interesting lecture which goes over what you read and provides even more background information and relates it to how it matters to our lives now. It’s the best study I’ve ever seen.

This year we’re studying the book of Revelation, one of the hardest books in the Bible in my opinion to just read on your own. So far, the same themes have kept popping up. God has a plan for us, and he always has. He hasn’t forgotten about us. Pain we go through in this life has purpose, even if we don’t see it in the moment. Yes, God is still good. Yes, he is all-knowing. And we can choose to trust Him with his plan. He has shown us glimpses of it and proven his faithfulness time and time again. There’s more going on behind the scenes than what we can just see now with our limited perspective.

 Sin- anything we think, say, or do that dishonors God, separates us from Him. By Jesus coming and dying a terrible death for our sins, restores our relationship with God, if we accept it. Jesus is the bridge. By following Jesus, we have the gift of life forever with our creator, instead of being eternally separated. Following Jesus isn’t about checking off a bunch of strict rules but allowing the creator of the universe to transform our heart, and have a real, intimate relationship with Him. “Those stranded in sin find life and liberty in Jesus Christ.”

The book of Revelation, the last book in the Bible, was written by John, a man who was one of Jesus’ close disciples. He witnessed it all firsthand. He was there when Jesus performed his miracles, hung on the cross, and defeated death by coming to life again. He helped take care of Jesus’ family. After Jesus left earth, John had been banished to the island of Patmos, where God showed him things that were to take place and had him write it down. The vision John had of Jesus being the only one worthy and the Lamb who was slain, is where we are right now in the book of Revelation, and I’m excited to discover and understand more of God’s plan for the world.

As I’ve learned through studying Revelation, our time on this earth is like watching a live play at an outdoor theater. We know there’s more going on behind the scenes.