There’s More Going on Behind the Scenes
(picture: standing on an outdoor stage with the hubby)
In my early 20s, I kept having these nagging thoughts. They bothered me to the core. I would fret about them, even late into the night. I couldn’t understand why a good and all-knowing God would allow such horrible things to happen. Or more personally, why was he allowing bad things to happen to me and those I loved?
I would look around at people that appeared to have a good life and grow jealous. Those who had not been affected by poor choices. I started to believe all that was taught to me as a kid in Sunday school was a lie. There either was no God or if there was, he honestly didn’t care about me or the terrible things happening in the world. If he did, he would prevent them all from happening.
I would see my Bible sitting on the shelf, hardly touched. How many days had I told myself I would read it, to better understand God and his plan, and then I would get a chapter in, throw my hands up thinking: this is too hard to understand. The language and the culture is different. It’s a waste of my time. I have better things to do and so much to accomplish. Or some days when I tried to read more of my Bible, it was reading the same thing over again, and I never made the effort to dig deeper. Jesus died on the cross. Yada yada yada. Okay. So now what?
Others around me may have thought I had it all figured out, but I was struggling. Had I proclaimed to others I followed Jesus? Yes. And I had since I was a little girl. Honestly, I was scared of the doubts and questions I was having in that time of life. But the real question was: Had I REALLY been digging into what had been written for me in the Bible so many years ago? Had I really unpacked and fully understood God’s plan? Did I realize the life-changing treasure that was sitting right there on my shelf, most of the time untouched? Was I taking the time to study it, or just depending on others to tell me what it said, rushing through to check it off my to-do list?
To be honest, there were things that happened in my life where I felt abandoned. Like God had just left me there, not caring at all what happened. He allowed these bad things to happen to me, right? Why should I even carve out time for him in my busy day? I struggled with my faith for a while.
During those college years, I befriended another woman at the university who later I found out had rejected Jesus. “It’s cool you believe in those fairy tales,” she would say to me. But she hadn’t been willing to study or see for herself. She hadn’t opened the treasure easily accessible to her and see the truth.
I started digging deeper for myself. I brought my questions and doubts to God. My friend-had she ever heard and fully understood who Jesus was? Did she realize that choosing to follow Jesus would be the most important decision she could ever make in her life? A decision that would bring her hope instead of bitterness. Forgiveness and redemption. A purpose for her life and a new beginning. That Jesus was really all that mattered? Not chasing the sins this world has to offer, which only leaves us feeling empty, sad, lost, and lonely in the end.
The truth is, sometimes I still have questions. But the difference is now, instead of giving up and pushing aside the Bible, I have chosen to dig deeper. I joined an in-depth bible study called Bible Study Fellowship, and discovered it’s a world-wide organization where others are studying the same thing. It unpacks very slowly each chapter of a given book in the Bible, gives background information referencing other books in the Bible, talks about the story of the author who wrote it, and so much more. The study first has you dig into the Bible yourself and answer deep questions. Next, you discuss it with a group leader and other peers, and last, listen to an interesting lecture which goes over what you read and provides even more background information and relates it to how it matters to our lives now. It’s the best study I’ve ever seen.
This year we’re studying the book of Revelation, one of the hardest books in the Bible in my opinion to just read on your own. So far, the same themes have kept popping up. God has a plan for us, and he always has. He hasn’t forgotten about us. Pain we go through in this life has purpose, even if we don’t see it in the moment. Yes, God is still good. Yes, he is all-knowing. And we can choose to trust Him with his plan. He has shown us glimpses of it and proven his faithfulness time and time again. There’s more going on behind the scenes than what we can just see now with our limited perspective.
Sin- anything we think, say, or do that dishonors God, separates us from Him. By Jesus coming and dying a terrible death for our sins, restores our relationship with God, if we accept it. Jesus is the bridge. By following Jesus, we have the gift of life forever with our creator, instead of being eternally separated. Following Jesus isn’t about checking off a bunch of strict rules but allowing the creator of the universe to transform our heart, and have a real, intimate relationship with Him. “Those stranded in sin find life and liberty in Jesus Christ.”
The book of Revelation, the last book in the Bible, was written by John, a man who was one of Jesus’ close disciples. He witnessed it all firsthand. He was there when Jesus performed his miracles, hung on the cross, and defeated death by coming to life again. He helped take care of Jesus’ family. After Jesus left earth, John had been banished to the island of Patmos, where God showed him things that were to take place and had him write it down. The vision John had of Jesus being the only one worthy and the Lamb who was slain, is where we are right now in the book of Revelation, and I’m excited to discover and understand more of God’s plan for the world.
As I’ve learned through studying Revelation, our time on this earth is like watching a live play at an outdoor theater. We know there’s more going on behind the scenes.